There are 5 love languages that can be used to help in your relationship: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts. It is important to remember that everyone has a different love language they speak. Some may align with others and some may not. You and your partner will need to learn one another and learn what the others’ love language is to appropriately show love and affection towards them.
Words of Affirmation
In most cases, actions speak louder than words unless your partners’ love language is words of affirmation. In this case, words mean everything to them. Your words will speak volumes to them even if you just want them to let things slide, so it is imperative that you keep that in mind with every conversation. Those whose love language is this, using phrases that start with “I love how you…” or “I’m thankful for…” will go a long way. Be authentic, be empathetic and show appreciation. Say “I Love You” a lot.
Every couple needs time together to bond and nourish the relationship, but what happens when your partners’ love language is quality time? During your time together, express your love and undivided attention. When you are with your partner, turn down your phone, turn off the tablet and focus on them. When you do that, it shows your partner that you are focused on them and they can focus on you. They will feel important, loved, and special as if you were intentionally setting time aside just for them. Some tips on how to speak this love language: make eye contact, use active listening skills, focus on quality, or plan something with them.
Most people think this is one that men would mainly love, but this is important for women, too. Keep in mind that physical touch in a relationship is not solely about sex. This love language is about the gentle touches and kisses, hugging or hand holding. You can show love through intimate touch such as cuddling. Cuddling has been proven to release the hormone called oxytocin. This is the “love hormone” or the feel-good hormone that makes you feel like nothing can hurt you. Makes you feel safe with that person. Cuddling can also help boost your immune system. You can also show love through non-intimate touch. For example: rubbing your partner’s back, sitting side-by-side or tickling. For long distance, you can do something like plan a date via video chat.
Acts of Service
Some helpful tips to expressing acts of service (or kindness) include: pay attention to the small things, consider some of the things your partner does not enjoy doing, focus on acts that are easy to incorporate into your every day schedule and utilize your strengths. When your partner wants to go on a trip, listen to what they want to do and act on it. Make it a surprise! This will show them that you heard them and are wanting to make special memories with them. If your partner hates taking out the trash, that is an opportunity for you to do it for them. This will show them that you care about them and will do for them.
While it can appear to be that your partner does not appreciate the love between the two of you, it is not the case. Your partner is feeling love or demonstrating love through a tangible object. Creates a sentimental memory and will help you/your partner be reminded of that love every time they see it, use it or touch it.