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My good FOFriend, Sharon, hasn’t had sex in almost a year, but she recently reunited with a widower whom she finds attractive. “I’m pretty sure he was attracted to me when we were younger, and there seemed to be a bit of sexual tension between us when we had dinner a few weeks ago,” Sharon told me. “We had a short, but tender kiss goodnight and he’s also made a few sexual innuendos when we’ve chatted on the phone.”
Sharon thinks there’s a good chance that she will “hook up” with this man when she next sees him, but she’s worried about a couple of things, namely her tummy and breasts. “My belly is anything but flat, and perky isn’t how I’d describe my breasts,” she jokes. “If only I can be intimate when I’m fully dressed!” While Sharon isn’t planning to have a breast lift or tummy tuck any time soon (or ever), she is thinking about how she can “prepare” for her sexual encounter to minimize her anxieties and make it as enjoyable as possible.

The top five actions on Sharon’s list include:

1. Getting in the mood musically. “I haven’t been a drinker for years, so I’m afraid a stiff vodka martini or a heady Italian Brunello is out of the question. Maybe I’ll listen to Charlie Rich’s version of The Most Beautiful Girl in the World a dozen times before we go out. He sings it with incredible soul, and it always makes me feel romantic,” Sharon explained.

2. Exuding a lovely scent, all over her body. “Besides using my favorite perfume on all my pulse points (Frederic Malle’s Une Rose) I’m going to make sure every inch of my body smells beautiful and fresh, and feels soft,” Sharon said. “I’m especially worried about my vagina. I don’t think I’m going to be up for oral sex just yet, but you never know! You can be sure I’ll be using a sufficient amount of vaginal cleanser, like Lubrigyn Lotion.”

3. Wearing panties that hold in her tummy and a well-fitting bra. “I don’t mean Spanx, which make me feel like I’m in a straight jacket, but a pair that has a bit of Spandex and keeps my belly from jiggling. I also love the bras from Journelle because they’re feminine but do a good job of supporting my droopy breasts.”

4. Watching a suggestive movie together. “I don’t mean porn, but something like Bridges Over Madison County, with Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood. It’s definitely sends out a sexy vibe.”

5. Doing what comes naturally. “No matter how much I may plan, it’s probably always best to act like myself. Maybe it’ll be clumsy, but this man has a great sense of humor, which should make the situation more comfortable. Besides, he’s not as trim as he used to be, either. Maybe he’s preparing his own list. Hopefully, he won’t wear underwear with Spandex!”

One Comment

  • Sharon, It’s absolutely essential to keep your sense of humor. So good for you. And I love all the preparations you’ve listed. Even when we’re having regular sex a woman generally is like a slow cooker – we need some warm up time. And it’s helpful if we take some of the ‘warming up’ responsibility on ourselves. You also might be surprised to learn that your man will probably not even notice your ‘not as flat as it used to be belly’ and your ‘not perky breasts.’ Being naked with you he’ll see you as a whole woman and not just your parts. Make a commitment to yourself to stay in the moment and not worry about how your body looks. This will help you truly enjoy his physical attention and if you’re enjoying yourself then he’ll enjoy himself. Coach Christine – The Perfect Catch

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