Healthy Relationship: Expectation vs. Reality
Many people relate healthy relationships to how they appear in movies or books. The most handsome man and the gorgeous lady who initially do not see eye to eye and then fall hopelessly in love with each other and overcome the best of life’s obstacles. Some people see these movies and see that the man is a romantic and goes above and beyond to keep the lady in his life. Movies have set an unrealistic level of expectations in a healthy relationship. Some examples of realistic healthy relationship characteristics are listed below.
The Spark – Honeymoon Phase
As mentioned before, falling in love with someone does not happen as you see it in the movies. Typically, a “newly in-love” relationship is fun and flourishing at first. As time goes on, you will become more comfortable with the other person and while the spark may not be the same the love remains as strong. The Expectation behind the “spark”, or honeymoon phase, is that you will have that feeling the entire relationship. The Reality behind the honeymoon is that the initial excitement may slowly turn into a feeling of long-lasting love. One thing to remember is to have date nights and spend quality time together to keep the love strong.
Break-Up and Make-Up
In the movies, the expectation is set that if the couple breaks up and if the love is real that the man (or woman depending on which movie you are watching) will come back later and fight for what they want and end up back together. When a couple breaks up, it may not always be that easy to win the partner of your dreams back. Sometimes you can get your loved one back and sometimes you are not able to do that. Relationships are complicated enough and to see the best result in them it is probably best to not have a pattern of breaking up and getting back together. To prevent separation, communicate with your partner about what the issue may be that is causing you to want to leave. It is important to keep open communication with your partner during times of struggle in the relationship.
The Relationship: Hard Work
Movies may paint the picture that once you are in love nothing and no one can tell you different than what you feel and they may lead you to believe it will always be everything you wanted and more. While in real life you may receive all that you want and more from your relationship and as a couple, it is also important to remember it takes hard work to get and maintain your relationship. It is a constant “I choose you over everyone and everything else” to maintain your partnership through the good, the bad and the ugly. You must be willing to make sacrifices for each other and be a part of each other’s dreams in an intimate and deep way. Connecting to the other on a different level to keep your love strong.